Dokomi

Big ass post about Dokomi!
Its just me updating how im doing, my thoughts and feelings ect 

29/05/26

It 06.35  rn

Friend n partner will b here at 09.15 n im just now in bed. Was packing stuff, getting anxious, spacing out (watching yt... i got mail acggoods accepted me so ofc i spend like 2h figuring that out... i put my party shark sticker up for sale lol) and i don even kno. I migtv overpacked? No suprise ofc (preparimg to shit myself 20 times a day ofc). Din end up prepping food... will just bring ingredients n put sum shit togetger when we uh.. break? Pause? Idk man.

Got a redbull ready bc alarm says 1h till go off... im just in bed for some rest. Im not rly worried ab being tired, i just!! Hope to sleep in hotel! (Bc last time first night i just din sleep at all).

Ok will now close eyes for lil...

14.56

An hour till were at the hotel. My eye been acting up. Im tired. When we took a break i took some free magazines for scrapbooking. I always try to look for paper goods to scrapbook. So yeehaw. I wanna sleep wuh ou

Gotta stay awakeso can sleep tonight

20.41

Din sleep. Body exhausted. We went to Globus!! Im very exited to groceryshop on monday. 

Sigh i am thinking tho future wise, i need something i can take with me that i can sit on. Bc im fine until im not and then i can get overwhelmed rly fast. Im just wondering what. Bc alot of those tgings that r light to cary dont hqndle my weight. I also dont need a stroller bc it gets in tge way. Def not a wheelchair bc then so much public space will be off limit. I wish i had a bag of holding i can take a seat out of.

Anyway we bought stuff for weekend. Insanly cheap!! We tgen orderd food. Ate in room.

23.33 

im in bed now. Very tired. Hopefully sleep soon. Im nervous to breath bc partner is in sqme room (separate bed, we not gay like that ofc) eventho they r wearing headphones and sleeping mask.... what if i annoy them qnd he cqnt sleep... ;; ok i should now try

30/05/26

06.26 

alarm goes off in 14 mins. I dis not sleep AT ALL. Im exhausted. Im sad, last time was the same. I dont get it. I thought last time was bc i was sleeping in 1 bed w partner n both where super unconfy

11.46

Walking alone at dokomi bc i do t rly feel like being social. Im tired. Im trying not to drink all my water hmmmnbggg. Feet hurt. Im in tge artist alley. I finished row A till F. Idk how many rows there r tbh. My wifi and data dont work hhh. Should continue onward

13.06

Lil break, will start L soon. Feet hort... what... what if i do need a wheelchair D^: ....

SCREAMING SOMEBODY IS BAREFOOT??? INSANE!? THEYRE DRESSED IN MILITAIRY STUFF BUT BARE FEET???

Anyway back to what i was saying.. i feel like i complain ab pain alot but im honestly good w handeling pain... until its too much... when i complain its bc im actually in ALOT of pain.... wich is alot... hhhh i rlyy dont want a wheelchairrr. 

I got both neck and tiny fan on. Tempr manageble this way. 

I like conventions but i think im just too disabled to walk around. Im not sure ill go with my friends next time (ough, rly pains me, holding back crying)

I think ill only go if id be able to have a table myself. But expensive. Sigh... i should continue on

14.30

Break again. Doing suprisingly well for not having slept for 2 nights. Like im tired but still comprehensible. Im having a hard time speaking up tho. Need to pee tho... but got too much stuff w me... 

15.51

Went pee and finiahed some more. I think next is row U? Break again.

Still no data. Saw 2 friends tho so yippee.

Exited for show and tell w friends in evening. If i cant sleep tonight idk whats wrong w me. I wan... my pear juice... in hotel... wuh...

Dont think i have much left to go. I wanna finish AA asap so i can sit down n chill.

NOOOO SOMEBODYS WIG GOT STUCK IN MY LIL HAND FAN. I FELT SO BAD. THEY WERENT UPSET AT ALL BUT STILL. As soon ad i noticed i turnd it off and kinda gavebit to them. I din wanna potentially break it even more... but tgey just kinda yanked the hair outta there lmao. My fan is fine and their wig was honestly also fine. It where just a few strands

16.58

I finished AA. Im done for today, i sit. Happy i brought ny heaphones. Will b listening to some music

19.18

Still sitting, called with gran a lil to pass the time. Then friends came to me, we talked, they left some of they stuff w me and are off to look at some AA stuff. 

I love my friends and i love spending tine w them. But im happy i walked around alone. Din have to worry ab wheter im being annoying. + bc of lack of sleep, the warm weather and being in pain i get overstimulated much faster and might end up being mean on accident. I also honesty had fun walking around by myself (except for the pain part. Mine u i did take meds but it dont help specificly pain in feet. I also ended up doodling a lil idea for a table at dokomi... id ver likly share table (bc cost) and thus would only have lil space.

Im stupidly exited to eat my dessert after dinner LMAO

31/05/26

04.59

We ended up eating noodle and showing stuff around. Din get around to mine, wich is ok, today! Anyway... as u see by tge hour... yea... still no sleep. I think im stressed and uncomfortable w another person being into the room. That + autistic change. Im so exhausted tho??? Ive never been awake this long...

Also the presure of "i NEED to sleep".

Crying right as my body was finally like "oh relax?" My partner starts snoring LMAO

08.52

Ate breakfast and now friends left. Im a bit sad, worse case friend told me they can order uber for me. I also since the last updqte slept for like 5mins so yippee (so highly likly its the stress ab sleeping that prevents me from aleeping lol) Will call gran inabit just to update her. 

Aight done. Will atempt a slumber once again. Just to see/calculate. Its now 09.20 and im gon try sleep

15.06

I SLEEP!! I wake up every so often but thats norma. But right after i can sleep again!! I turnd call noise on but slept trough u

It.... ill have to change to alarm sound to trick my brain... is bkw 16.00 eating some nuts n will sleep again.

18.51

Was called awake by friend to let me know they on their way to order food. Then i called gran. So now im sowly waking up. Happy i slept!

01/06/26

03.45

Ate, did show and tell, was fun!

Slight medical emergency with a friend but i think theyre alright? Well rather i hope so!

Had to take my partner to my room bc they where freaking out. We where packing up our stuff till other friend knocked on door. We then did a show and tell in vc lol. Friend stayed till like 3am? I hope they can rest a lil.

I gotten so many gifts from my friends and i got them nothing ;^; i feel a bit bad ab that (i dont think any of them rly mind). If everytging goes like planned then when we leqve hotel we first go to miniso! Rly exited for that!! (Maybe i can look for present there?) I spend like 470€? At dokomi? Im allowed to splurge a lil in miniso >:3

And after!!! GLOBUS!!!!!!! THEY HAVE EMMA BLIND BOXES!!!! QND OTHER BUT MAINLY EXITED FOR EMMA!!! Will atempt to sleep now

18.38

Been in city all day! Bought many blind boxes, some plushies and other thing. In pain sadly... talking with friends also confirming wheelchair... whuh... also ngl i feel like if id get a wheelchair id gqve to start working out my arms LMAO. Main problem would be money tho... partner said a goid custom one is easely 5k.... my ass got 5k in savings and thasit! I need to live w that till i (hopefully) fully get accepted for disability.... hhh hqd fun this weekend but reality is creeping in... 

Anyway, were suposed to still go to globus... but im tired....

02/06/26

02.23

I got home around 23.00

Din end up going to globus, was just kinda at my limit sadly. Talked more ab wheelchair, and realisticly thats the best option. But... i gues internalized abelism? I kinda wanna cry, im 26. Health will only get worse... but my feet r full with giant blisters (tgeyre on the usual place so i dont even notice those anymore), my feet and back r killing me rn, the rest of my body is exhausted. Im in bed rn. 

I felt like alot like a dick simply bx i for overstimulated, in pain and too hot...

Im so tired and kinda emotional... will sleep now...

 

03/06/26
16.54
Final update
I woke up around 10am? I slept for a solid 28 hours and im still exhausted lmao. Overall i had alot of fun! Just spending time with friends. Sucks i couldnt sleep but oh well.
This weekend more so has led me to realise ill need a wheelchair if i wanna participate in likewise activitys in the future. Friend reminded me that even if i have a wheelchair im not bound to it... wich yea true lmao. But im just grieving a lil i gues? Im not sure how to exactly explain it? Sadness? dun kno.
I need to go to my DR this month to get blood taken (nothing bad, just yearly check up for Endo), ill ask him ab wheelchair. Lil stuipid but im just kinda imagining how id customize it, i hate that they all are just black/dark grey, wheres the fun and whimsy. I heard that boat paint is good for cars... anyway thas all!